


Scars

by sanctuary_for_all



Series: Partners [17]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Family Issues, Feels, Healing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-12
Updated: 2014-11-12
Packaged: 2018-02-25 02:02:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2604503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanctuary_for_all/pseuds/sanctuary_for_all
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Please, babe. Talk to me.”</p><p>A little desperately needed emotional support, set after episode 5X07</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scars

Danny had always loved watching Steve dress – or undress, for that matter – but these days it hurt more than usual. He couldn’t help but focus on the bruises now – changing color, which meant they looked worse even though they were healing – and the burns he learned after North Korea were the result of electric shock torture. Couldn’t help but think about all the damage done to muscles and nerves that couldn’t be seen from the surface.

He shouldn’t know this much about what torture could do to a person. To _his_ person.

Danny shook himself out of it as Steve managed to pull the t-shirt over his head – idiot wouldn’t take the easy route and go for button-downs, oh no – and tugged it down. This wasn’t the kind of staring he wanted Steve to catch him doing.

A second later, though, he realized he didn’t need to have bothered. Steve didn’t move from the edge of the bed, eyes a million miles away, just like they always were when he went to the place in his head where he kept the blood and screaming. He’d gone there more and more since they’d gotten him back, mixed with the flashes of the grief that had been in his eyes when Danny had asked him if Wo Fat had said anything. He hadn’t wanted to talk about it, and the last thing Danny had wanted to do right then was poke at a wound.

If the other option was letting Steve keep going away like this, though, it looked like he didn’t have a choice.

“Babe.” Danny kept his voice gentle as he sat down next to him on the bed.

Steve blinked, jolted out of his thoughts by the shift in movement as he hadn’t been by the endearment, and Danny couldn’t help but wonder once again at the kind of life that gave you instincts like that. “Sorry.” He rubbed a hand across his face, looking tired even though they’d just barely gotten up. “Did you say something?”

“Yeah.” Danny curled a hand around the back of Steve’s neck. “I know I said we didn’t need to talk about it, back at the hospital, but clearly I was wrong.”

Steve’s muscles tensed underneath his hands, and after a moment he shook his head. “I’m fine,” he said finally, the latest example of Steve McGarrett’s complete inability to lie successfully. “Just sore.”

Heart aching for him, Danny gave Steve a gentle shake. “That might have worked on someone who hasn’t memorized the entire catalogue of your facial expressions, Steven. As it is, I am far too familiar with your ‘I’ve gone somewhere terrible in my head’ look to ever be able to mistake it for anything else.”

Steve glanced over at him, something that might have been the ghost of a smile flickering across his lips. “I’m going to figure out a way to make you prove the ‘faces’ thing, one of these days.”

“Oh, I am more than ready. You will be in awe.” Danny couldn’t hold on to the lightness in his voice, throat tightening at the rawness in Steve’s eyes. “Please, babe. Talk to me.”

He hadn't ever managed to make Steve talk about North Korea. He'd refused to go see a therapist, citing Joe's forced retirement from the Navy and saying there was too much risk he might get someone else in trouble. Danny hadn't pushed as much as he should have. Back then, he hadn't felt like he had the right.

Now, though ... if this was about the torture, he'd get Steve to someone even if he had to drag him there by force. But if this was about Wo Fat, there was a terrifyingly good chance it was also about Doris McGarrett. Steve _still_ hadn't told even Chin or Kono that he'd checked whether Wo Fat was his half brother, and Danny had needed to pry it out of him. Especially with the CIA angle and the fact that Doris was still officially dead, there was no chance he'd get Steve to talk about it with a stranger.

Finally, Steve let out a shaky breath. "She raised him."

Danny had never hated being right quite so much. "Doris?"

Steve nodded. "After she accidentally killed his mother, she decided to raise him herself." His voice was scratchy. "Eventually, the CIA made her give him up, but it must have been years. She ... quit, soon after."

"And had you and Mary," Danny finished quietly, sure he was missing something. This was weird, and awful, but it wasn't enough to wreck—

Oh hell.

"You think that's the real reason he went after you." He felt the anger rise up inside him, kept it out of his voice by sheer force of will. "You were the one she kept."

Steve was staring hard at something Danny couldn't see. "He didn't believe me, when I said I had no idea where his father was being held. He had no reason to think I even knew, but he just kept hurting me. Like he couldn't let go of the excuse." He swallowed. "For all I know, that's part of the reason he killed my dad."

Danny knew from personal experience that a gunshot hurt far less than listening to the waver in his partner's voice. He pulled him closer, leaning his head against Steve's. "He was a psycho."

"And she was my _mom_." Steve's voice broke at that, and Danny had never wanted to punch a woman so badly in his entire life. "She knew what he had done to Dad. She knew that he'd tortured me in North Korea. That he'd come after me again. And she still couldn't shoot him when she had the chance." He squeezed his eyes shut, unshed tears clinging to the lashes. "Even then, she still couldn't decide between us."

Not able to take it anymore, Danny dragged Steve all the way into his arms. He let himself be pulled, folding around his partner like he couldn't hold himself upright anymore. Danny wrapped him up as tight and close as he could, feeling Steve's pain like it was his own. "Shhh," he soothed, his throat feeling like there was a rock lodged in it. "Shhhh."

Steve curled his fingers in the back of Danny's shirt. "Why do you keep choosing me?" he whispered, the rawness in his voice like a thousand knives. "No one else does."

Danny closed his eyes, hating Doris McGarrett for doing this to her son. Hating the entire universe, for not being willing to go five fucking minutes without yanking another bit of ground out from under Steve's feet. "Because I'm the only person you've ever met that has any sense," he rasped, feeling his own eyes get wet. "Everyone else is wrong."

Steve didn't say anything to that for far, far too damn long. Then he exhaled shakily. "Thank you," he whispered.

Danny pressed his lips against Steve's neck. "Always."

**Author's Note:**

> Come check out my weekly posts and original short fiction on my [blog](http://jennifferwardell.blogspot.com) or say hi to me on [Tumblr](http://sanctuaryforalluniverses.tumblr.com)!


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